Cemetery Dance Magazine says that "No author working today comes close to Jeff Strand's perfect mixture of comedy and terror." Gleefully Macabre Tales compiles 33 of his most twisted blends of cringe-worthy horror and ghoulish humor, with a couple of serious pieces thrown in just to mess with you. This collection includes tales from his three chapbooks (Two Fisted Nuts, Socially Awkward Moments With An Aspiring Lunatic, and Funny Stories of Scary Sex) and numerous other stories both popular and obscure, including "Really, Really Ferocious" (the one with the wiener dog), "High Stakes" (the one with the slot machine), "Roasting Weenies by Hellfire" (the one with Satan), "The Bad Candy House" (the one with a very unpleasant old man at Halloween) and "The Socket" (the one with the eyeball socket). And, as a special demented bonus, the paperback edition includes the novella Disposal. It also includes two of his entries in the World Horror Convention gross-out contest. But you don't want to read them. So if you're looking to laugh, gasp, gag, or do all three at the same time, making sort of a weird sound that hurts your lungs and elicits odd glances from nearby pedestrians, don't miss Gleefully Macabre Tales!
From the author of Pressure, Dweller, and Wolf Hunt comes a new 90,000-word short story collection featuring twenty-nine stories and original cover artwork by Alex McVey. The stories within this collection range from hilarious to downright disturbing, proving that Jeff Strand is still a master of comedic horror. Seven of the stories ("Pett Semmuteary" "Dummy" "True Hero" "Fangboy and the Troll" "Stop Stabbing Me" "Pregnancy Test" and "Push the Button”) have never been published and were written just for this book. Contains interior illustrations by artist Alex McVey. A man who finds a severed nose on a plate on his dining room table. A bell that can summon Satan (maybe). Casual Fridays at work that get out of control. A cheery outlook on the post-apocalyptic landscape. The final thoughts of a doomed skydiver. A girl punished by having to share a bed with her grandmother’s corpse. Revenge via baking a tarantula into a cake. A romance between two carnivorous genetically enhanced plants. And the lost tale of Fangboy. These are only a few of the demented stories in DEAD CLOWN BARBECUE, a collection of twenty-nine gleefully macabre tales, seven of which were written just for this collection. There’s even a brand new one about a ventriloquist dummy. Those things creep you out, right? You’ll laugh. You’ll scream. Okay...you probably won’t actually scream, unless you already had issues before you started reading, but you might cringe and get a little spooked. “No author working today comes close to Jeff Strand’s perfect mixture of comedy and terror.” - Cemetery Dance
Horror/comedy master Jeff Strand returns with a collection of twenty-six gleefully macabre tales! A cheerful snack mascot who snaps under the pressure. The nightmarish effects of the most depressing holiday song of all time. A virtual reality environment that allows you to enact your most depraved fantasies…sort of. Giant mutant cockroaches doing battle with zombies in the Old West. An unnerving discovery in the Book of Revelation. The true secret of silent comedian Buster Keaton's success. Plus a Halloween curse, a lot of psychopaths, and much more! Often hilarious, frequently gruesome, and sometimes just flat-out WRONG to the point where laughing at them presents a moral quandary, Candy Coated Madness is Strand at his demented best! Table of contents: Virtual Reality Kill Zone Good Deeds Captain Pistachio's Charming Rampage The Last Thing You Want To Be Lab Experiment Turf War No Tomato Clyde the Necrophile Don't Make Fun of the Haunted House Ivan's Night Out Pointy Canes Giant Mutant Cockroaches in the Old West Vs. Zombies Outpouring Smashing Jacks Faerie Green Suits The Fraud Hostile The Great Stone Face Vs. The Gargoyles Parody Awakening Dismemberment Fraud Beware! The! Beverage! Rotten Eggs Gave Up The Ghost December Birthday My Werewolf Neighbor Plus an introduction and story notes!
From the madman who brought you Gleefully Macabre Tales, Dead Clown Barbecue, Everything Has Teeth, and Candy Coated Madness comes Jeff Strand’s latest and most twisted collection: Freaky Briefs. This time, all of the stories are flash fiction—very short stabs of pitch-black hilarity. Includes fan favorites like “The Douchebag Who Reneged on the Death Pact,” along with brand-new stories like “A Story For the Dude on the Plane Who Keeps Looking at My Laptop Screen.” Seventy-five tales in all, proving that you can pack of a lot of grisly fun into small packages. The stories... The Douchebag Who Reneged on the Death Pact Fresh Fish Clicking the Heart The Wrong Dentist The Skull Within CraniumVision Headspin Oh No! Don’t Eat Me! (A Chocolate Bunny Tale) Thrill Ride The First Cannibals What’s in the Box? Jock Magnum, Manatee Hunter Bernie Beaks The Guy Who Didn’t Want to Murder Anybody With a Hammer Bummer Tarot Reading Pull My Finger Crazy’s Ralph’s Used Car Emporium Home With a Future The Tell Tale Heart II: Aftermath A Story I’m Writing While Being Devoured by a Lion Make a Wish Long Sleeves Fast Zombies Vs. Slow Zombies Scrape and Scoop How’s My Driving? Granny’s Got an Ice Pick A Story for the Dude on the Plane Who Keeps Looking at My Laptop Screen And There Was a Metal Hook Box of Chocolates The Frostbite Movie Breakthrough Ten Little Babies Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts The Night I Realized Halfway To The Pavement Below That I Was Not, In Fact, Superman Helen Gets Permanently Traumatized A Real Haunting Vegan Training Guillotine Sherlock Holmes and the Murders at Camp Crystal Lake Chick Quicksand It’s Drabble Time! The Most Entertaining Man in the Elevator Wrongful Death Payday Jigsaw Puzzle The Satisfying Crunch of Bones Beneath My Feet Laundry Day All The Cheese In The World Not Enough Coins Impressionable Below Deck The Cat Who Was Super Smart For A Cat But Pretty Dumb By Human Standards The Blind Men And The Elephant: A Parable Bradley Goes Crunch Dusted Intervention Telemedicine The Soupville Stabber Practices Social Distancing Bunny Ears The Tragic Tale of Slappy McWankerville Abner Wederman, Ribald Ostrich Last One In Too Meta 2 Live Steps Santa Claus Kills 2020 Yak Attack Job Reference The Man Without Nails Comeback The Last Egg Six Cents a Word Encore Making the Most of It After