Andrew Mayhem Books

When you're desperate for money, searching for a little adventure, and aren't the most responsible person in the world, you can end up doing some outrageous things. Which is how Andrew Mayhem, an extremely married father of two, ends up accepting $20,000 to find a key ... a key buried with a body in a shallow grave. When the body turns out to not only be still alive, but armed and dangerous, he realizes that he should have held out for more money. His simple evening of morally questionable manual labor becomes a bizarre game of wits and courage played with an unseen killer with a twisted sense of humor. It's a game that will bring him to a group of filmmakers known as Ghoulish Delights, who are hiding a secret that will test every last bit of Andrew's nerve to discover. And it's impossible to find a babysitter.

"Sometimes you wake up in the morning and you just know it's going to be the kind of day where you end up tied to a chair in a filthy garage while a pair of tooth-deprived lunatics torment you with a chainsaw. So as I struggled against the ropes, I can't say I was all that surprised." Even more twisted than its predecessor, Single White Psychopath Seeks Same is another outrageous blend of the hilarious and the horrifying, one that will keep you laughing, gasping, and guessing from beginning to end.

Meet the new, improved Andrew Mayhem. He has a real job. He's a better father and husband. And he's vowed to quit accepting money from strange women in coffee shops to perform tasks that go terribly, terribly wrong. This time he's just taking a relaxing camping trip with his family and best friend. No shortcuts. The gas tank is full. The sinister warning of the crazy old man is taken seriously. Unfortunately, when you're Andrew Mayhem, you just can't help being attacked by a group of savage killers bent on inflicting ghastly torture and bringing horrific death. Relentlessly pursued through a booby-trapped forest, it's one crisis after another as Andrew fights to protect his family, loses a body part or two, and faces the single darkest moment of his entire life.

Masters of the comedy thriller genre, J.A. Konrath and Jeff Strand, team up for the humorous horror novella Suckers. Strand's perpetually unlucky character Andrew Mayhem, star of the novels Graverobbers Wanted (No Experience Necessary), Single White Psychopath Seeks Same, and Casket For Sale (Only Used Once), sets off on a simple mission at the request of his wife: Get some spaghetti sauce. On his way to the store he meets Konrath's obnoxious private eye Harry McGlade, co-star of the Lt. Jack Daniels thrillers Whiskey Sour, Bloody Mary, Rusty Nail, Dirty Martini, Fuzzy Navel, and Cherry Bomb. Horrific violence, bad jokes, and lots of name calling soon ensues. Some sex, too, but not between the main characters. Originally, published as a very expensive limited-edition hardcover, Suckers is now available as a super cheap ebook. But the fun doesn't stop there. Also included in this ebook are six other Mayhem and McGlade stories, many of them rare and long out of print. Whelp Wanted - JA Konrath Poor Career Choice - Jeff Strand Taken to the Cleaners - JA Konrath A Bit of Halloween Mayhem - Jeff Strand The Necro File - JA Konrath The Lost (For a Good Reason) Adventure of Andrew Mayhem - Jeff Strand If that's not enough to get you to part with your pocket change, this ebook also includes two brand new introductions written by the authors, and an exclusive Strand/Konrath interview. That's over 53,000 words worth of demented entertainment, for half the price of a kiddie meal at that fast food restaurant with the scary clown. It's also 1/3 of the calories. Plus, it's specially formatted for Kindle, with an active table of contents. Not active in the sense it will mow your lawn or fetch you a beer, but it's clickable and looks pretty. Warning: Some of the jokes (mostly Konrath's) push the boundaries of good taste. Don't buy this if you're easily offended. You also get a bonus excerpt from the hilarious novel, My Gun Has Bullets, by Lee Goldberg. Here's what critics and bestselling authors have to say: "JA Konrath is the greatest writer who ever lived!" -- Jeff Strand, published author of Benjamin's Parasite "No, no, Jeff Strand is way better!" -- JA Konrath, published author of Whiskey Sour "I officially withdraw my previous quote based on new information provided by JA Konrath's quote. Jeff Strand is the greatest writer who ever lived!" -- Jeff Strand, published author of The Sinister Mr. Corpse "Of course, Jack Kilborn is better than both of us combined and mixed with a side helping of the Bronte sisters." -- JA Konrath, published author of the more mediocre half of Suckers "Well, duh." -- Jeff Strand, published author of the half of Suckers that's okay, sort of, if your expectations aren't too high.

The fourth book in the wildly popular series of horror/comedy novels featuring Andrew Mayhem! In this dark and hilarious new adventure, Andrew has started up a private investigation business with his best friend Roger (slogan: "We Solve Weird Problems"). Since his options in life will become somewhat more limited after his wife Helen gives birth to triplets, it's his last-ditch effort to get out of being stuck with a corporate day job. One of their first clients is an attractive woman named Shirley. Keeping with the kind of luck Andrew has had his entire life, her problem is: "I think I may be a serial killer." Yeah, he takes the job. Even after she insists on being handcuffed to him while they investigate the house where she might have stored the bodies of her victims. But Andrew discovers that this day has much more danger in store than being handcuffed to a woman who may or may not be a homicidal maniac. Because Mr. Burke, the sadistic villain of his last adventure, has been watching Andrew and plotting a truly ghastly revenge...and the attack begins now! Packed with the trademark demented humor, wild action, and grisly horror you’ve come to expect when Andrew Mayhem is involved.

The long-awaited fifth book in the wildly popular series of horror/comedy novels featuring Andrew Mayhem! As a stay-at-home dad taking care of triplets, Andrew Mayhem's days of getting into wild adventures are over. His life is measured in diaper changes. Sleep has become an abstract concept, something oft-discussed with his wife Helen but rarely experienced. So when Internet celebrity explorer Percival Longshore asks Andrew and his best friend Roger to travel with him on a good old-fashioned treasure hunt, Andrew laughs off the idea. He can't even watch ten consecutive minutes of a movie, much less fly to the rainforest in South America to see if an old map is accurate. The base pay is generous, the potential reward is astronomical, and Percival assures him that he will be in absolutely no danger. After Helen gives her blessing for Andrew to leave for a few days, he finds himself on a small motorboat on the Amazon River seeking his fortune. Maybe this adventure really will be different. When they pass a skinned body tied to a pole, Andrew realizes that nothing has changed... "Once again, Jeff Strand creates the perfect balance of horror and comedy. Given the stressful times we are living in, I can’t think of a better escape than a few hours with Andrew Mayhem." -- Signal Horizon