Pew! Pew! Books

9 Comedic space opera tales of big spaceships, poor life decisions, and lots of Pew! Follow the adventures of swashbuckling heroes and heroines who forgot their swash and didn't do up their buckles as they gallivant across the stars, saving the downtrodden and trodding on some of the down. Delta-Team: A “Simple” Kidnapping - M. D. Cooper The Methane Lake of Excruciating Tedium - Felix R. Savage The Last Bounty - Barry J. Hutchison Spaceberg - M. Pax Attack of the Killer Bees - Chris J. Pike Brewing Trouble - Amy DuBoff Dodging Fate - Zen DiPietro Gli+ch - Drew Avera Bat Johnson, the Mad Mortician of Mars - Rachel Aukes

8 Comedic Space Opera Adventures of Space Monsters, Dashing Heroes, and a Healthy Dose of WTF Follow bands of not-so-fantastic heroes and heroines as they fail to rescue damsels in distress, accidentally aid the galaxy’s dark lords, and generally just screw everything up. Escape From my Fishwife - Zen DiPietro Spellslinger - Chris Fox The Gli+chover - Drew Avera Trash Beings of the Galaxy, Unite! - J.J. Green Crash - James S. Aaron Miss Planet Earth - S.E Anderson For the Love of Llama - TM Toombs The Disknee World - M. D. Cooper

9 tales of galactic ludicrousness, all communicated entirely in beeps and squinks. If you can read this, you're probably a cyborg. Stealing Trouble by Amy DuBoff Legitimate business is boring. There's no thrill, just a lot of paperwork. To amuse themselves, the crew of the Little Princess II decide to try their hands at some old fashioned art theft and black market dealings. However, going in without a clear plan has a tendency to backfire. Old nemeses, incorrect assumptions, and bad luck are just the beginning of their problems. Invasion of the Kaviis by C.C. Ekeke Since childhood, Henar has trained to become part of the Kavii Benevolency's grand military. But when he's sent to the backwater world known as Earth, the young soldier is hell-bent on making the best of his first military conquest. What he finds on Earth opens his eyes to a new and unorthodox chance at glory... and unlimited belly rubs. A Visit from my Cyborg Nana by Zen DiPietro Charlie Kenny is happy with his new life on the Second Chance. He's a redshirt, an unlikely adventurer, and he's even learned to mix a darn good cocktail. He's been reluctant to return to Earth, where the majority of his life's misfortunes have occurred, but his nana needs help. The cyborg overlords that assimilated her years ago now refuse to provide her with proper maintenance. Charlie has no choice but to face off against these robotic ruffians. Lucky for him, he'll have the help of the two best friends a redshirt could have. The Horrible Habits of Humans by S.E. Anderson Commander Strax of the Order would love nothing more than to command his ship and plan his retirement. Babysitting a new race is not part of the plan. When a simple dimplomatic mission goes sideways, it's up to strax to save the universe--and keep the human out of trouble. The Lone Ranger Returns by Michael Anderle Her grandfather is gone, his legacy remains. It takes a while for this granddaughter to realize you can't outrun the Grimes legacy. Swarn of the Zom-Bees by Chris J. Pike Captain Jim Jones and his crew just want to enjoy a few space hot dogs when blood-sucking bees attack. After reaching a tentative truce, everyone has been fooled by the Space Bees, with their apparent need to cultivate honey everywhere. But when the first Space Bee shop opens on Earth, Jones suspects something else is afoot as people start dropping like flies. Vermillion by L.A. Johnson Zenith researches ancient intergalactic maps for a living. Or at least she did, until she impulsively joined a slacker Civil Customer Service crew to get away from an ex-boyfriend. Now she must deal with the terrors lurking in deep space, a co-dependent ship named Vermillion, and a human-sized insect roommate. The crew is intent on keeping their zero percent customer satisfaction rating despite Zenith's objections, but when her past won't stop coming back to haunt her, her first job may be her last. Glitches Wild by Drew Avera What happens when the unluckiest man on the planets plays a high-stakes game of poker against the richest man in West Virginia? He loses his ass in more ways than one. The real question is, what happens after? Zip Zap Boing by Andrew Lawston The Starship Troupers Initiative is famed across the galaxy, bringing the greatest actors to entertain soldiers in warzones on the most lethal colony worlds. Now, new actor James Fanning must both give the performance of a lifetime, and singlehandedly turn the tide of Jargroth's civil war. The show must go on... even if it kills him!

Evildoers across the multiverse unite! Or maybe don't... Ten tales by nine authors of good versus evil. See heroes fail and evildoers win, and everything between. Add in a little bit of Christmas, Hanukkah, Festivus Poles, and you have delicious chaos!

A Fist Full of Pews! Outrageous space opera tales that will be sure to have you firing phasers on full! Cryonite Caper by Felix R. Savage Independent freighter captain Mike Starrunner has seen it all, but when someone freezes his weapons officer into a six-foot cube of cryonite, even Mike is stumped. Who would have done this and why? And what happened to good old carbonite? On skanky, sweltering hub world Ponce de Leon, there's no shortage of suspects, but when Mike's investigation leads him to notorious smuggler Buzzz Parsec and his gang of criminal bear shifters, things get hardcore. The Chadd by Richard Parry Chad Forradel's bad day started with a scream from across the hard black, followed by too much silence to be healthy. Before he knows it, he's on an ex-war heavy lifter, trying to save the universe. Again. My Andersonia by James S. Aaron If faking an engagement to gain entry to a totalitarian regime isn't hard enough, Ngoba Starl is going to have to keep his raging hormones in check during a future version of Mardi Gras, complete with fertility poles, sex drugs and illicit line dancing... all to save a Sentient AI who may just kill him in the end. An Aeon 14 story from the wild early days of the Sentience Wars. Rogue Planets and a Bored Kitty by M. D. Cooper The Delta Team is on a new mission to save an entire planet from an icy demise after a rival steals their super-special power source. Ramsey and Cindy are on the job, while Kitty and Vampy are left behind. The only thing worse than a planet slowly freezing to death? A bored kitty. Space Girl and the Sensual Spy by Andrew Dobell Space Girl Seren Zenith, and her sarcastic robot sidekick, Humphrey McTechbot, are sent on a decidedly deadly mission to free a spy from the clutches of evil. Accompanied by a hunky military hero and a bewildered alien, nothing is as it seems, and the fate of, well, not the galaxy, or world... maybe a couple of lives that few people care about, hang in the balance? Yeah, that works! Spiffing good show old bean. A retro, ray-gun wielding and velour catsuit wearing, sexy sci-fi adventure romp through the cosmos. Making Trouble by Amy DuBoff Jack Tressler and the crew of the Little Princess II decide to try a new black market venture: covertly transporting passengers. However, they inadvertently get mixed up in an established human trafficking ring with a dangerous pirate gang known as the Blue Rabbits. Jack and his friends might just, for once, do the right thing and try to help the innocents--so long as there's still a good payday. Valentine's Day 1979: An Intergalactic Adventure by Andrew Gates It's Valentine's Day in 1979 and for Ryan Gifford, love is just the one thing he can't seem to find in the City of Brotherly Love. But after a strange encounter at the local cinema, Ryan's life suddenly takes a dramatic change when he learns he must marry an alien Princess in order to stop an intergalactic war. Whether he is ready for it or not, Ryan is thrust into a life of romance, intrigue and space aliens who don't seem to understand his '70s slang. The Unbelievers by Bill Patterson The Academy class of 2360 seemed normal, but when they entered the Fleet, strange things happened around them. Power conduits exploded. Radiation sickness killed crews. Fleet started losing the war against the Poon. Something had to be done. The 'Sixties' were recalled. Tested. Examined. The few Sixties who were... abnormal... became a weapon no Poon warrior could resist. Now it was the Poon who were falling apart. The only question that mattered to the fifteen grads who survived the mission was: how do we get home again?